The children have their candidate—
he wants what they want too.
He wants everything to be so great,
as all great leaders do.
He'll skateboard all across this land,
from sea to happy sea;
with boyish smile and waving hands,
he'll fill the kids with glee.
For stopping the apocalypse,
he'll be the guy in charge—
he's the one for every crisis,
small, medium, and large.
And when adults raise their questions
about what he's ever done—
he'll skateboard in new directions.
It's true he once was glum,
but when he married into money
then things began to sing—
his star rose over Texas; funny
how wealth enhanced his zing.
Though we like electing greenhorns—
first "Hope and Change," then Trump—
frenzied kids soon become forlorn
when champs turn into chumps.
So let's have our Beto moment—
he was a punk, that's wild!—
but ending our national torment
can't be left up to a child.
Though he's got live-streamed charisma
and seems a friendly sort,
cleansing our civic miasma's
too man-sized for O'Rourke.